So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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