Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
