My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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