I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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