its not stalking. its research.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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