Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
