So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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