Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
