oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
