I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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