weddingsv make me drug and hornr
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
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Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
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