She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
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I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
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He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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