Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
