he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
its not stalking. its research.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
