My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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