Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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