I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
