is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
