im drinking this country out of the recession.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You made out with two different species that night
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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