I love black thongs
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
