i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
