She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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