It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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