i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
