I look better un-naked...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
