you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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