Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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