my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize