You smell like a Billy Joel song
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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