Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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