I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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