What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm eating all of the evidence.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
