Can i not drive my cunt home
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
