Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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