Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
