problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
