I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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