"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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