yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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