"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
