I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
