Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
