Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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