i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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