Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
