I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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