My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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