She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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