He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
