I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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