I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
