dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
