giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
