Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
