I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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