All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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