i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You made out with two different species that night
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
