I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
