Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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