sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
