Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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