i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
