oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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