I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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