I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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