i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
