don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize