We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
