dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
