Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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