I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
