Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
