why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I could have mohawked her pubes.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
