We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
