i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
